Shifting from a Religion to a Deeper Relationship...Letting Go Perhaps?
"Dark night and unitive dawn are no longer all that different; reality simply is as it is. All emotional drama has dropped out, since there is no longer a fixed point of selfhood to be “happy” or “unhappy” about a situation. “Nowhere is my destination and no one is my identity,” he remarks simply, and while this may sound awful to our egoic minds, still fixed on defining ourselves by “who we are” or what lies ahead, there is also a solemn freedom here: no longer any buttons to be pushed, no dog in the fight. Time no longer rushes on into the future, but rests comfortably in a more spacious now." Cynthia Bourgeault per Thomas Keating (Center for Action and Contemplation).
Being apart from the subtle institutuonal persuasions of organized religion, sitting in silence, alone with God and the scriptures, now aging out of my ego and need to compete for professional and monetary means...I get this!
I think my wife arrived some time before me, though through a different path.