Musing, Contemplative Prayer & Perspective

My life has truly changed over these past ten years. My visionary enthusiasm with regards to organized religion (now seems an oxymoron), my long voiced hope for city-wide transformational moments across our nation, moments that might free Jesus from our sanctuaries thus affording real solutions in the streets, has toned down a bit. However, my knack for run-on sentences is still there!

My younger friends still call, inviting my voice into their thoughtful processing, some aware of the couple years spent praying over my hometown from my then 24th floor glassed corner office back around Y2K! I was all in!!

"Standing on your shoulders" are their words of gratitude when I am invited back into the fray.

I am an aging grandfather now, with deeper focus on my family than in my earlier days. Days when I believed that being "in full time ministry" was what God desired of everyone, though only a few would so choose. I was raised to believe that, and to pursue such was to be among the chosen.

Now having tested that ground, as well as multiple sectors of service, often from sun-up to late evening, I now realize that the only people who will remember that you actually got up early and worked late while serving the greater good, will be the family that grew up without you.

I am much more level headed now, somewhat more balanced perhaps?

Still at times, more like a tire on a car, I still spin in circles, though not yet having worked my way off the rim!

Though older, I am still rotating rapidly at least inside, my desire is to leave a mark on this planet, though one more lasting than the brick and mortar edifices that I have helped erect. A truth that can anchor one's life when the stuff we have invested so much of our life in fails "to hold water."

What you are hearing is awareness as I contemplate the madness that has still survived my best efforts and consumed my best years.

Now, with a new pup on my lap, one that should be about her "business", the two of us sit outside gazing at what amounts to my best efforts as a Dad and life partner to my wife.

An acre of land, a small cabin in the woods and a nice gazebo. Yes, there is money in the bank and a daughter, who much like myself is now given her best life to kids as a public school principal. She does however do a better job of balancing duties at home as both a wife and mother of two. Hear the pride!

What's important now is whatever transfer of truth can still occur, along with adequate provision for a demonstration of generosity and ownership of the mutual challenges that face our world. That's the sole purpose of one's gifts, calling and provision.

My prayer is that my grands learn to live for others, sharing the love of God, while framing a future for the generations that will follow them, as long as this planet should be allowed to tarry.