Each morning of late, I have felt compelled to empty my heart online. Not for the sake of building audience, but perhaps some new approach to prayer and meditation that serves multiple purposes. The audience maybe even after I am gone?
As I daily progress through scripture, a new thing seems to be occurring in my aging spirit. Some deeply tangible awareness of blessing, somehow linked to a deeper contemplation upon my current spiritual journey, one quite different than when it first began at age nine.
As I read scripture, I can so connect with the reality of those I read about, especially those totally dependent on an outside influence and favor. This morning's read continues in the Book of Esther. I better get Mordechai, his passion for others, himself already inside the king's court, likely well established in his community and well cared for, if not abundantly.
I am more blessed than I can communicate and yet carry a deep sense of responsibility to more clearly express the reality of this faith journey, in a more practical way than I was taught in church. Life happens, often painfully and unpredictable, but there is a Presence that when welcomed brings remedy, not just in the pew.
Each day my life experience pushes me further from the religious activities that once dominated my life, and deeper into an everyday life of full engagement with real world complexities. People are hurting, disenchanted and searching.
Church to me was a schoolmaster of necessity early on, yet can too easily create more dependency than mature liberty. Often segregating secular and sacred, becoming a place of escape from the realities encountered in the other six days of our week, battleships versus aircraft carriers and launching crafts.
I still love to come together with people of faith, singing songs that express the joy and blessings all ours through Christ. However, my heart seems fashioned more for those outside the faith, and that is a growing number. I am especially drawn to the younger, those who have become disenchanted with the outcomes delivered by religion as they know it, the Nones.
As I have stated before, this "calling of God is without repentance" otherwise I would move on, join the ranks of those awaiting a second coming of Christ, leaving the challenges of this world and those choosing another way to the handbaskets of Hell.
Love doesn't afford such options and that is the Good News.
Just as this morning's early reflection upon the rich blessings in my life drove me to blog, so those blessings compelled me to encourage whomever might someday read this, to seek out what I have found.
None of this by my own merits, but in response to a deep wooing in my spirit that has never left me since the day I first heard the words, "One day you will preach the gospel." Though, at nine years of age, I could not have known then how unconventional the methods chosen would be.
"O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song."