Some mornings I awake fully loaded with expectations of some spiritual visitation. Ruminating upon the miraculous and abundant life I have lived, yet still sensing vision unfinished.
Maybe that desire for impact is resident in the bones of all humans, though the gifts, the talents if held inside, aid no one; even stifling those to whom that one was divinely appointed and called to nurture.
Maybe silence is a wisdom I do not possess, evidence of a mentor that failed to step up in my early years? My guess is that the loud silence of the majority is a subtle fear of presumption, or worse yet, rejection by their peers? I can tell you, that age will reduce one's fears, for death itself becomes the only worthwhile foe! Nothing to lose is another way of saying it.
From my childhood memories of amazing God moments, to the early passion of my young adult years, I have always seemed surrounded by friends who encouraged my spiritual journey.
Uncertain of my station in life, by full of a sense of calling, I determined to live my life fully dependent upon the empowerment and provision of the Lord; unbounded by circumstance and systems. My work ethic was more than sufficient, having had a blue collar background, though my leadership skills were more street worthy.
I can truly say that Divine providence, and the calling now followed have surely made a way for me, even before I had yet chosen the path. From an aloof first generation college student, now with three advanced degrees, and three books in print, there still seems to be one story yet unwritten, longing to be told. My five sectors of community service have provided more than adequate contextual data!
I am now sounding presumptuous, but this blog is about transparency and self dialogue. My heart is to serve and to lead, and I must say there have been moments where had I pressed in harder, and stayed more open to the voice of God, the lives and legacy of leaders served might have been richer. I know what you're thinking, "should have, could have!" Perhaps that's still to be seen! The proverbial Fat Lady has not yet sung!
I guess that's why every morning now seems new and laden with possibilities. So regardless of age, self talk and reduced energy, I press on toward "the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus."
What higher role could exist!