My Struggle with the Name

This morning as I was reading, new clarity seemed to come to this old mind, just behind a deep awareness of the struggle I have long sensed each time I hear the name, Jesus.

Shocking I know, unless you read further.

The first time this deep sense of repulsion occured was some years back when I was speaking with a well respected Christian brother. Each time he spoke the Name my soul recoiled.

I was deeply perturbed, yet it began to occur repeatedly, with each following conversation where His name was even being praised. I struggled with what on earth had occurred in my soul.

Then one day while working at my computer, I heard what I know as the voice of God, at least as I personally sense the Spirit: "Now you know how I feel, when they use my Name but never intend to be like me."

This time, it was less a sense of condemnation, more like an insight into what we are missing. That moment of truth and the intent of that Word had never truly resonated fully until this morning.

In the interim (mind you, I have the grounding of 50 years of disciplined study of the scriptures) I began to scrutinize my own faith relative to the man born of Mary, who promised even greater things than He had done.

As a Pentecostal, I truly have experienced some awesome moments with the Lord, yet now wonder if in my efforts to know, revere and worship the Christ, have I really grasped what it would mean to be like Him, versus simply worshipping the man, Jesus.

Actually, He never required that, at least not in the ritualistic approach as most of us know it: In the pews until we hear "Let us all stand", then an opening prayer, add a couple hymns or choruses, another prayer, "You may all be seated"; sermon delivery follows, prayer of confession, (oh, somewhere in there we pass the plate)!

Not trying to be snarky, but in all this (which I still participate in weekly) we can miss the reality, that Jesus was God in the flesh, The Christ, not seeking to be worshipped, though certainly worthy, but rather to demonstrate the intimacy and empowerment available to us as humans.

That "never intend to be like me" statement was more an invitation than any condemnation, a "look what you are missing" by not seeking the Father with the same expectation as the Son, and then to do even greater things "in His Name"!

I now take that as the assignment of POA, Power of Attorney!

Rather than spending my days trying to learn more about the man, Jesus, overly concerned that I tell others about Him, why not pursue God with the same zeal and expectation, perhaps then Love would flow abundantly through me moreso than simply rote words of Christianese! As well as the occasional dead raised!

I am 76 and only just coming to understand what was meant when Jesus was quoted as saying, "I am the way, the truth and the life" and in another place, "No man comes to the Father except through me!"

The narrow gate wasn't about religious exclusion, as perhaps even his disciples at times made it, but rather an invitation to pursue God in the same way as witnessed by Jesus, who was God incarnate!

Now to finish the race He set before us!!